Post Title.

5/16/2010

5 Comments

 
Mr Sunderland,
For the annotated bibliography we were unable to get the indentations on each line to stay. We tried to copy it with indented lines from a word document as well as just indenting it on the webpage. We just wanted to let you know this so that you wouldn't think that we ignored the comment you made on the last bibliography. 
Thank you, 
Vicki Katie Erin and Pamela.
5 Comments
Sunderland
5/19/2010 11:25:58 pm

-Need "Website Index" link on homepage that links back to "foawebsiteproject.weebly.com"

-Thesis a bit unclear. Get revolution, reaction and reform in it. Also be clearer about how revolutionary.

-Tend to have too much text. More bulletted info.

-On Revolution page, it is not always clear how women were revolutionary. Ex. Nurses talks about role before but doesn't really go into role in war.

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Sunderland
5/19/2010 11:30:03 pm

Reform Page:
-Again, too much text. Bullet.

-Make topic sentence larger (highlight and click "+" to enlarge)

-"Gettysburg News" image not very good. Not really well-connected. Also add caption.

-Use word "reaction" more. Ex. "Positive Reactions"; "Negative Reactions"

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Sunderland on Reform
5/19/2010 11:31:45 pm

Reform Page:
-Again, way too texty. Bullet. And more visuals.

-Have a topic sentence/page thesis that stands out.

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Sunderland-General Comments
5/19/2010 11:36:41 pm

-Move Process Paper page before Annotated Bib page.

-Use Scribd to embed annotated bib as document. I will instruct in class how to do this.

-Make sure each page has "previous" and "next" links at bottom of page.

-Again for emphasis: too texty. Bullet info more. Only thesis and topic sentences should be complete sentences. Also work on visual content. You don't have a lot of images and some aren't very helpful. Finally, use captions on images to help viewer understand significance/connection of image

-Use different text sizes/colors/fonts for quotes so they stand out more.

-Overall, nice job. 45/50

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Sunderland-Final
6/10/2010 04:55:03 am

Very nicely done. You managed to look at the issue from multiple perspectives while at the same time providing a unified idea. Argument is sophisticated and progresses logically. Presentation is a bit bland and depends too much on text but is clear and organized. Connection to theme solid. A really good job.

95/100

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